A Lawyers Utopia – My Rant Against Tort Reform

I was discussing tort reform with a friend today and I heard my favorite term, Jackpot Justice. Of course I convinced my friend of the error of his ways and the utter fallacy of the tort reform movement. However, I got to thinking, what is Jackpot Justice. I better add a disclaimer, after reading this, this is truly a late night rant against the rhetoric of politicians.

Now understand one thing, I have a sarcastic sense of humor. So my first thought was where is this Jackpot Justice in Oklahoma. I mean, someone please tell me where this “shakedown” is occurring of poor innocent broke insurance companies. I have decided that I really need to find this lawyers utopia where every frivolous case nets a million dollar verdict and insurance attorneys never churn a file to reach their billing goals. Where is this fairytale land where computers systems by insurance companies don’t tell my clients that they can’t be injured seriously because their car only has a $1000.00 in damage.

If someone could please guide me to this utopia, I would greatly appreciate it. I would immediately go and knock on doors and file case after case in search of that Jackpot.

Oh and while I am at it. Can someone please tell me where in Oklahoma I can go file my auto accident cases that I will get paid. Please tell me. Because in my years of practice I have yet to see this utopia. I have yet to see an insurance company pay on meritorious claims without a fight, much less frivolous ones.

I beginning to believe this utopia is more like a Fairytopia. See Fairytopia is where Barbie and the twelve dancing princes play and live in their enchanted world. Now I know your asking, where the heck did that come. Well here’s my secret, I’m the father of three girls and have seen it over 10 times and have participated in the dancing. I’ve been the prince. (FYI, if you’re a dad, listen to the new Steven Curtis Chapman song: Cinderella, it will hit you hard about your baby girls).

Oh wait, you mean me, the ugly trial lawyer has a family? You mean I actually spend time with my precious children? You mean I actually serve in a leadership position in my church? These things couldn’t be could they? Surely those are just a spin on my life, see I’m just an ugly trial lawyer taking advantage of billion dollar insurance companies. Those poor souls, bless their hearts, they only want to pay the injured. They would never intentionally devalue a claim.

Now that I’ve said the above, the rant can truly start. Shame on politicians who sell me their so called morals. Who come to my house proclaiming morality. Shame on these politicians who would do what Isaiah 10 states” Woe to those who make unjust laws, to those who issue oppressive decrees, to deprive the poor of their rights and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people, making widows their prey and robbing the fatherless. What will you do on the day of reckoning, when disaster comes from afar? To whom will you run for help? Where will you leave your riches? Nothing will remain but to cringe among the captives or fall among the slain. Yet for all this, his anger is not turned away, his hand is still upraised.”

Yes, I went their I quoted scripture. I’m tired of being lied by politicians on tort reform. I’m tired of telling me they believe the injustice of it but promised the doctors whom make up 1% of their district but donated 99% of their campaign funds that they would vote for it. I’m tired of sending politicians up to the capitol to make foolish laws to benefit whatever special interest they choose.

Therefore, I propose a moratorium on the writing of laws. These so called politicians should only be allowed to go up and vote on the state’s budget. Then, every five years they can have a session to introduce new laws. Ok, maybe that’s a little overboard, but do we really need laws when the ones we have had around over 200 years have done pretty well. Go figure, maybe we can stop these politicians from having lobbyists write the bills while we are at it.

So if your reading this understand. I have morals. I want to tell you the truth. I don’t care if your liberal, conservative or independent, you should be against tort reform because it does just what Abraham Lincoln warned against when he stated: “I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong
its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of war. God grant that my suspicions may prove groundless.”

Wasn’t honest Abe a republican? Geez, how far honesty has fallen. How have we delved so far from respecting humanity over corporate entities.