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Priceless: Eluding Police While Intoxicated with Stolen Beer that Soon Becomes a Weapon

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Noble McIntyre and I have been practicing together for a long time. In that time we have seen traffic accidents caused by inattentive driving, intoxicated drivers, drivers on drugs and litany of other mindless acts by drivers. All too often these car accidents cause injuries such as broken backs, lacerated body parts, paralysis and even death.

Now comes a story that beckons the popular refrain that just when you think you have seen and/or heard it all, something new comes along and ramps up the ante for stupidity behind the wheel of an automobile. On newsok.com there is a story about a couple of guys from Durant Oklahoma who have ramped up the ante for reckless and frankly stupidity behind the wheel.

According to the story

Late Tuesday, a Durant police officer was sent to a store on Main Street. Video surveillance captured footage of a maroon pickup with a big dent on top of the tailgate outside the store, according to a report from the Durant Police Department. A man got out of the truck’s passenger side, went into the store, picked up a 30-pack of Bud Light and walked out without paying. He hopped back into the truck, which fled.

So did these Lex Luthers of the criminal psyche escape? Did they go home and drink their beers? No. The story goes on to say

Less than an hour later, that same police officer was patrolling the area when he spotted a maroon pickup with the same big dent on the tailgate, according to the police department. The officer turned around and the truck sped off.

So far we have a couple of guys who decided to steal beer from a video monitored convenience store, drive around over the next hour in the same area and now have decided that their pickup is faster than a police officer’s car and radio. What did they do next?

And as if the passengers in the truck weren’t endangering enough people, they decided to throw full beer cans out the window, according to police. Some missed. Some hit, spraying foam all over the squad car windshield.

So now we have these gentlemen who decided to steal beer from a video monitored convenience store, drive around over the next hour in the same area, decided to run from the police and best yet have decided that these stolen beers make wonderful bombs to throw at the police officer who is chasing them. The story goes on to say that the gentlemen crashed their truck and then

[t]he passenger climbed out the window, carrying clothing and a Bud Light. But as we’ve just learned, this beer was attack beer — not drinking beer. When the officer got out of his car, the passenger chucked the beer at the policeman…the beer hit the car instead of the officer. Police chased down the passenger and arrested the driver of the truck. The officers then found remains of a 30-pack of beer inside the truck, sitting there like a pile of live ammo.

After reading this story I can only conclude as follows:

  • Robbing a $20.00 (let’s hope they at least robbed the good stuff) case of beer, foolish.
  • Driving around while drinking said case of beer, dumb.
  • Running from the police while drinking stolen beer, stupid.
  • Chunking beer at police officer you are attempting to elude, moronic.
  • Jumping out of vehicle clothes and beer in hand probably not spilling a sip of beer, priceless.

The writer from newsok.com states it best when he says

A couple of guys from Durant reminded me how brilliant the human mind truly is. They also remind all of us why alcohol and driving should not mix.

In conclusion, although this story has a fairy tale ending with the bad guys ending up in the squad car and no one injured, the lesson is simple. Over indulgence in alcohol is rarely a good choice and becomes less so when you decide to get behind the wheel.

1 Comment

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  1. Gerry McGill says:
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    There’s no cure for stupid.